Looking Forward to Trump

Reasons to look forward to a Trump presidency:

Because he’s going to call Hillary a $%*&! on national television.  Not because I’m interested in Hillary being called a $%*&!, but because Trump will sue the networks and the FCC for bleeping his profanity, on the grounds that they are obstructing his Presidential campaign.

Because the nice, vanilla side of America is going to meet the dark heart of the Internet for the first time.  I look forward to explaining memes (Fully Qualified…To Make Me a Sandwich) to my mother.  What percentage of Americans don’t know anything about the savagery of the Internet?  Reddit?

Because we could live in a world where a Republican Congress, with the unanimous support of the Democratic Party, impeaches a Republican President for war crimes.

Because we could live in a world where Rand Paul is Vice President of the United States.  Imagine how many centuries of Libertarian Lore would lionize “Our savior Rand Paul, who stood on principle and resigned the Vice Presidency in protest against a power-mad dictator.”

Because get your shots in now people, before he’s an elected official and owed a measure of public respect.  It’s going to be a logjam in the peloton trying to fit those in at the 11th hour.

Because all possible futures have equal probability with Trump.  He could be the 5th Great President and I wouldn’t be all that surprised.  He could also turn Mt. Rushmore into a quarry for building a wall to keep Canadians out of Toronto.  Coin Toss.

Because he might win the popular election in a 70% landslide.  Would that be shocking at this point?  Looking at you, Nate Silver.

Because who knows what Lindsay Graham will say or do in those dark days.  Keep the cameras rolling, everyone.  Jon Stewart got out of the business at exactly the right/wrong time (take your pick).

Because if he really is terrible, maybe Congress will learn to take back all the power they have obsequiously handed over to the Executive Branch for the last few decades.

Because maybe this is the quasi-mythical “party re-alignment” some of the talking heads seem to think is coming.

Because in a way, the most rational thing of all seems to be taking shape as the general electorate begins to think about Trump: ignore what he says, since he’s a crazy troll who will say absolutely anything, and just look at his record.  He’s “obviously” a social moderate-to-progressive, fiscal conservative, etc.  Vet the candidate?  Don’t listen to the self- and media-aggrandizing (which amount to the same thing)?  Believe in checks and balances?  That’s…that’s…American Democracy???  Trump brought us to this?!

Living in A-mer-i-ca!


One thought on “Looking Forward to Trump

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